Kenyon's Diary's #4 



Hello there,  Kenyon’s Speaking! 

Hello There,

Yes it’s me again...  The One and Only, Talking Building...

It’s Christmas time 2008, followed by the Notorious New Year!  So let me tell you what I’ve been up too!

It was a wonderfully white winter happening around here, quiet, cozy, comfortable for an old building like myself...

Then all of a sudden, that phone starts a ringing, people showing up at the door, children arriving, oh Heavens not again- it’s the Goodboo tribe, aka: Black Cloud...

Well there goes my quiet wintertime retreat!

Let me explain, she “Barbara” shows up with these silly ideas that “I” need special attention...  I am an old building, yes- I have ice build up on my roof, snow on the sidewalks and icy steps, so what, I’m old and I don’t mind these things...  It happens to me every year and has been doing so for the past 110 years, let it be!

Butt- not a chance, First she starts that whole get the ice dealt with thing- followed by heat strips on my roof- and then has the audacity to set up a christmas tree.  The minute I saw that tree I knew I was in for company!  And Lots of it!

Then, the next thing I hear are those sounds of sleds humming my way, oh no not again- snowmobiles 3 of them!

Then wouldn’t ya know- the pitter patter of that pick up truck, I’ve seen so many times before, the one with those Port Huron Plates on it- towing that snowmobile trailer and wala- more snowmobiles, more kids, more adults, more noise!

What is a old building to do?  

This is where the story gets interesting...

You see, I have my ways of getting even...  I’ve told you before, I am not so interested in being restored to the days of the past so here’s what I do to get even!

I start by giving her (or should I say Uncle Jim) a leaky faucet to contend with in the woman's bathroom.  That will torment her for a short- then I will trip a breaker or two- just to watch her run laps up and down the stairs trying to figure it out- followed by a few burnt out light bulbs just to keep her in the dark for a few more moments!  Ah yes’ I enjoy this...

However, it doesn’t seem to bother her for some reason, I think she’s laughing at me!  She keeps saying - bring it on old building- bring it on!

Now, I don’t know about you, but it irritates me all to heck...

I’m stuck with the noise and confusion of people and children and all the play toys, how would you like to have toy trucks driven across your old floors and what about those adult toys riding all over my yard?

I keep trying to do something dramatic like spring a major leak somewhere, but it appears she might have had most of my breakables fixed on me!  I keep attempting to default the wiring but it appears her and those electricians have rewired most of my circuits! This just aint right!  She’s fixing all my favorite past time issues on me!  Some one stop her... 

Now, most of my antics have failed so far.  For today- she wins!  But there’s always tomorrow!

I’ve overheard her talking about a snowmobile run party. This means she is planning on even more company and sleds.  I’ll fix her...  Let it rain- Let it rain- Let it rain-

Alright- so perhaps I can’t make it rain but mother nature can! 

Here it comes- 2 days of rain- it will make all the snow melt and thus she’ll have to cancel the snowmobile run.  Then as i see it, a 3 day power outage will take care of the rest! And Indeed it worked! No snow- no power- no internet- no party...  I am a smart ol’building, aren’t I?

Wait-wait- what is this!  That generator thing, oh no, heaven have mercy - the power is back...  I’ can’t believe she’s fixed that too!  And what have we hear, puzzles?  She’s breaking out those puzzles again...  What is this? A puzzle party?  Doesn’t she ever stop? This lady is driving me mad!

How about a ghostly adventure, that might stir things up!

How about if I send a few chairs moving on their own combined with some dimming of lights and a little attic noise!

This should do the trick, that will run off her guests!  I will enjoy this immensely...  

What have we here? I dare you games? No-no-no-no-

This can’t be happening!  they are daring each other to locate the source of noise, they aren’t even to bothered by the rocking of the empty rocking chair- no one seems to be bothered by my dimming lights and... there she goes again saying, bring it on ol’ building- bring it on!  

Well it looks like I have one scared guest but she’s decided to stay the night anyway!  I can’t believe this, My torment and torture tactics just aren’t working as well as they used too...  I better stand here and dream up something better for next time!

Until then, just one old talking building, signing off for now!

But, I’ll be back...

So long

Kenyon’s (the talking building)



© kenyonshideout 2013